Digital Nomadism for this TCK

A vicious cycle for a TCK: Packing up, Unpacking, Moving, Transporting, Goodbyes and Hellos

My tiny hands are worn from carrying multiple bags

My arms are filled with big bruises

I beat myself up with my luggage

My heavy load. 

Head heavy, eyes tired. 

Thinking: "I hate this moving business"

Like a drunken haze, we have all said "Never again"

Do not believe it. 

The stares from other travellers at the train, bus, plane

I'm embarrassed and flushed. 

Sweat beads form and my clothes are starting to stick to me. 

Why, oh, why me!? 

Moving again. 

Saying good bye to beautiful places. 

See you soon to my dear friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.

Hello again to another location.

My unsightly bruises on both arms. June 2016.

I've been a digital nomad for the past few months and my body is weary but I am also a typical restless TCK who just can't seem to find home or stay put. A few things, I've learned from being a digital nomad and working from "home" is that 1) I like being able to be mobile. 2) I can live a peaceful existence and work efficiently on my own. 3) When I need to see people, I need to make an effort to see them. 

Working remotely from the Swiss Alps. May 2016.

I question myself every single day: how did I get here? The past several years has been such a challenging and trying time for me. A career change is difficult. Combined with a changing world and never being satisfied with where I am.

The world is changing and becoming incredibly volatile. I'm uneasy about it all because it is affecting me on a personal level. I have such an awful time when it comes to applying for visas and whatnot. Sigh. This is not a post for my rant. I am sure there are TCKs out there that can empathise with me on this. Feel free to drop me an email or a Facebook message if you'd like to commiserate.

Atomium, Brussels, Belgium. June 2015

Digital Nomadism. 
Its a thing and so many more companies should embrace this. If there is anything I've learned from my internship is that THIS is possible. I wish more companies would embrace this concept. For starters, I'm currently "funemployed" so decided to embrace this concept of digital nomadism and expand my network reach around the world through my social media channels. Its a dream of mine to be able to work anywhere and inspire others to embrace travel and adventure.
Can one truly work remotely and live a comfortable life? The answer is YES. Its been done and there are so many successful people doing it. I aspire to be able to do this so I'm not a prisoner of location and limited in my career and life aspirations. I just need to find the strength to shut everyone who tells me that its impossible, that I can't do it, that I'm too old, that I'm wasting my time, that I'm running out of time, and to settle down to a mediocre life that everyone else has that I don't want so I can be miserable. I don't want to be miserable.
There is really nothing tying me down and I'm not in the rat race so why not embrace a life that is colorful.
Another thing I learned in 2016 is that I cannot plan my life beyond a few months at a time because something is always going wrong and sh** hits the proverbial fan. Too many things have happened this year in the micro and macro scale that have affected and impacted me on such a personal level that all I can say is c'est la vie.

The life is short, death is inevitable, seize the day.
Malmö Slott, Malmö, Sweden. Feb. 2016

I am a Nomad

Wandering planet earth

Stopping for shelter, food, drink, company, and stories.

Neither here nor there.

Homeless.

Belonging everywhere and nowhere.

Learning languages

Studying cultures

Observing people

And making friends wherever I go.

Missing friends around the world.

I want to be there, there, and there.

I want to go somewhere far 

Finding little rocks I can settle down on for a while.

Settling my weary body, mind, and spirit. 

Blending in

Not blending in. 

Repeating my story. 

No, I don't want to give you my life story but you asked

"Where are you from?"

Are you actually interested?

Or is that a form of small talk and you don't really care.

Or you could also be a wanderer too.

Lets talk.

Lets be friends.

Keep in touch, k? 

Gruss aus Schweiz!

Greetings from Switzerland!

I have been living here since the end of January in the mountains. Life has been a hectic whirlwind of many classes, assignments, adjustment, stress management, tests, and I am looking forward to a little bit of a break.

Before coming to the Alps, I was traveling in Finland a bit. I wanted to see the Northern Lights and Santa Village.

Museum of Silence in Helsinki

Museum of Silence in Helsinki

Santa Village 

Breathtaking Sunset

Freezing in -20C 

A little skiing :-)

Igloo in Santa Village

Sunrise from the train traveling to Northern Finland

These images of Finland in Winter is really incredible. I have never been in -20c weather in my life so it was quite a shock to my physical body! I had a great time for a week before starting school. 

Sometimes we just need a little break now and then. 

Winter has been a welcome experience again for me in Switzerland, I arrived and it was really snowy for the first few weeks. It was really beautiful to wake up to soft fluffy snow falling. Getting ready in a suit plus winter gear on top of the suit to walk to school is another story (hah!)

On the train up to town

Skiing in the Alps is breathtaking

Eating breakfast in the dining hall

I go to an International Hotel school and there are so many different cultures and nationalities here. I have met tons of TCKs as well. Its nice to not always have to explain my mixed up cultural background to everyone (still have to do it on occasion but its not too unusual). 

A lot of adjustment to being back in school though. I am having a hard time concentrating due to my ADHD tendencies especially when it comes to doing homework or studying on my own. After being in the working world for a decade. I am a bit challenged when it comes to sitting in a classroom and taking notes. It is also really difficult to study for tests as I can no longer survive long hours of study. 

I am still dancing and have been asked to choreograph and dance for a few projects in school. I am also feeling a bit creative these days and working on some material that may materialise as a solo or a duet. Will see what happens. 

Definitely helps when I am stressed to go outside and take a walk or go to the gym or dance outside (I have done this on many occasions). It is really beautiful. 

Adjustment isn't easy but I don't really have any expectations so its been easier to adjust to mountain village living than to living in Singapore. I find it rather funny. Perhaps when we have lived in a place before we have these preconceived notions of what its like and how life should be. When it doesn't work out in your favor then we get frustrated. When everything is new, we just learn everything instead of having an idea of what it should be like. This is probably why repatriation is so hard. I was a bit homesick for a familiar place for a short bit in February while in the middle of studying for some tests but it seems the feeling has passed. 

Another birthday and I have had the most interesting year (s).

Last year was my 30th birthday and it felt a little bit like a milestone and a relief. I dealt with quite a lot of crap the past couple years so when I turned 30, I was going to make it about me. I really went through a lot of change the past year. Its really incredible how much has changed. Emotionally, physically, mentally, and life in general.

Feeling on top of the world in Milan, June 2014

I did quite a lot of traveling. :-) From July 2012- Dec 2014: A move from NYC to Singapore. Jakarta, Kuala Lumpur, Bali, Malacca, Chiang Mai, Hong Kong, Guangzhou, London, Edinburgh, Zermatt, Berlin, Copenhagen, Lund, Amsterdam, Amsterdam (again), Milan, Barcelona, Valencia, Granada, Seville, Lisbon, Copenhagen, Gothenburg, Stockholm, Malmö, Lund, Stockholm (again).
As I sit here remembering all those times... I am reminded how truly lucky I am to feel like this world is small. I am lucky to be a global citizen and really enjoy making new friends around the world. I got to practice speaking in Swedish (I read short news articles every day now), learned a few key phrases in Spanish, and German (still struggling through on this one), and try to speak Bahasa as well. Seen and experienced different things and adapted myself to take everything in stride.

Gallerie in Milan, June 2014

What a year of change it has been! I have been thinking very introspectively lately and have shifted some goals around in life that will free me. Funny how people tell you that turning 30 is not that big a deal. I think it has been a big deal.

APAP 2010 Showcase, NYC, Jan 2010. Photo Credit: William Hebert

Two years ago, my life crumbled. I had to move out of NYC. I don't want to get into a big whining boohoo TCK... blah blah blah. So skipping that.
I moved back in with my family in Singapore. Started teaching in Singapore, A LOT! Loved all of my students! They really make my day, even when there were days where I just shut down and wanted to cry. I put on a face and braved it through the dance in the studio. From very young students to older adults - they are truly inspirational to me. Each one coming from different backgrounds and living here all that the present time.

Ironically, in teaching a lot more. I lost my creative mojo. I had no time to recuperate and get inspired. I looked around me and people looked drained. Sapped of energy, I had to force the creativity when making a dance for myself and my group of project-based dancers. I applied to participate in the Edinburgh Fringe. Giving myself a deadline and the unfinished work I had started prior to the move. Through emails, video skype, more emails, more video exchanges, some studio time, adding another dancer, more emails... somehow we came together in Scotland and all that hard work came together on the stage for a two week run (everyday). The work became second nature and it became better than I anticipated although there are quite a lot of challenges and tweaks I would love to make if I ever revisit this work again. (maybe)

Performing Habitat, C Venues, Edinburgh Fringe July-Aug 2013. Photo: Kevin Tadge

Oh what a challenge those few months leading up to the festival was! Balancing 48++ hours of teaching dance classes, rehearsing, dealing with adjusting my crazy schedule, a break up, reverse culture shock on a daily basis, and living with my family again. I was stressed out! Wasn't easy.

Somehow I came back from the UK a lot stronger and ready for a fresh start.

September through December was a daily and weekly grind - slowed down a little because I just couldn't handle the crazy schedule. Was still teaching quite a significant amount. I even made a solo for myself and performed it for a studio charity show benefiting relief efforts for the victims of Typhoon Haiyan. Planned a solo Euro trip for myself that winter to celebrate turning 30.

Christmas Market in Berlin, Dec 2013

What an incredible trip that was. I fell in love with the places I went to and myself for being able to do that. I was for the first time in a long time, at peace. No inner demon dialogues. Second-guessing. I was just living in the present.

I have always loved traveling growing up as a TCK and love going to experience and meet new people.

I want to have more of a balanced life. Physically and emotionally I was tired. 

A few months passed and I went away again to see tulips in Holland for Spring. I spent a week in an airbnb and loved just being able to chill out for that week. Met up with some old friends in The Hague and a dancer friend in Amsterdam. I also had fun conversations with locals at cafes.

Keukenhoff gardens, April 2014

The following couple of months after my Spring jaunt in Holland were crazy busy. I was choreographing a school musical, teaching classses, students had to prepare for their dance exams, and a student dance recital. May was such a blur. I thought June would be quieter but it was just as busy teaching. Then summer vacation with my girl friends. Started the trip with a solo couple days in Milan. Then a planned trip through Spain and Portugal with my big 'sis'. I ended the trip with a solo week in Copenhagen and Sweden.

Sagrada Familia, Barcelona. July 2014

The summer trip really just turned me around and my heart spoke to my brain.

Make travel, helping people, being happy, creative, free spirited - a daily part of your life.

I had been contemplating on going back to school at this point and wanted to study something really different. I knew I wanted to do something international travel related in the tourism/hospitality industry but then wasn't sure up until this trip. When I returned, I became serious about it and kept it a big secret b/c I didn't want to get my hopes up if I didn't get into the school I wanted. I will keep dance in my life and have an idea for a solo dance project brewing in my brain. Started working on some basic phrases to kickstart it but nothing solid yet. ;-) Stay tuned for that.

So once again folks, in Third Culture Kid fashion.

I am preparing to move and uproot my life again. This time it is also to change gears a bit and focus on some new skills and experiences. I am at once scared, excited, anxious, and a bit worried. Next few weeks will be preparing for this move.

To turning 31! Skål! Prost! Salud!

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Journey of Reverse Culture Shock (or is it just regular Culture Shock?! I'm confused) part 1

Greetings from Singapore!

I've been here for a little over a month now and it has been a whirlwind of emotions. I am still playing tourist in the city/country that I grew up in and also my birthplace. It has changed so much since I left over a decade ago. 

Oh, little red dot. You have reinvented yourself. I don't recognize you anymore. 

The last time I visited was 2008 and even then, I was a foreigner in a place that was very much my home growing up. 

Some changes based on my observations:

1. The once deserted Marina Bay area is now a sprawling behemoth casino & shopping center known by residents as MBS a.k.a. Marina Bay Sands. 

2. Tanjong Pagar has become a mecca for working expats in the nearby financial area to get expense account dinner & drinks. The old shophouses are now turned into multiple trendy eateries, bars, spas, lounges. 

3. There are so many new condo buildings all around the island! The housing market in Singapore is robust and thriving. Rental rates are through the roof here (even more expensive than Manhattan!)

4. Lots of younger expats. I've noticed that there are a lot of foreigners working here that are around my age bracket. When I was growing up here, most of the expats were older and had families. Now there are quite a number of folks that come here are single, un-married, no children, and younger. 

5. New shopping malls crowd Orchard Road and they are also building up shopping centers in areas that were predominately residential neighborhoods. 

Will post more observations in my next post....

Culture Shock....or rather Reverse Culture Shock

The humidity and heat. I'm constantly sweating. Some days, it will rain and I feel grateful for that because its not as hot. Living in tropical weather has never been comfortable for me. My hair has sucked up all the humidity and moisture in the air resulting in flat, limp, greasy, and life-less hair.

Ugh.

I miss my easy-to-style hair. I like to curl my hair and in the States, I don't have to apply gobs of products to make the style stay put (with the exception of Summer in the East Coast). I have to apply lots of products here and it will still fall limp at the end of the day.


I talk and act differently but yet I look like everyone thus resulting in weird stares. I'm feeling the "hidden immigrant" role that everyone in the TCK world talks about. Back in New York, everyone is from all over and the society embraces the crazies. You have to really work hard to stand out. I stand out here because I talk and act differently but if I were walking on the street, you wouldn't peg me as different. When I open my mouth to talk or make a social faux pas, everyone stares. They are probably either thinking I'm a) an idiot or b) a snob for speaking and acting differently. *sigh*  I'm neither here nor there.  

Such is a confused TCK.

More to come....