TCK Identity: Leaving it all behind and in search for home

As a TCK, we find ourselves changing with each new location. As a digital nomad, I live in many places at once. The luggage, trains, planes, trams, and automobiles is so much flurry that it doesn't leave me a second to grieve. A proper farewell. 

Its important to be able to have a proper farewell to the places and faces we once loved. 

When you grow up mobile, the sense of identity and home is skewed because its never a constant place. Sometimes TCKs associate their previous homes as places but some associate them to the faces. The people they forged real connections with. I think its important to be able reflect and grieve properly on those physical places and people once they are gone. 

Like a proper break up.

I met up with a TCK friend of mine recently and she was telling me about her weird break up with a man she had been dating for a while. She told me that she felt shattered because it felt like a part of her sense of home was pulled from under the rug. She found solace in the people she chose to get close to for a sense of home and normalcy. It got me to thinking about my own friendships and romantic relationships. I was in a long distance relationship with a man for a few years and recently had to make the decision to tell him that I couldn't keep flying to his town anymore. Long story short, I felt terrible but then we had a couple days of saying a proper goodbye. We visited my favorite  places in town, reminisced about all the good times we had traveling together and the first time we met halfway across the globe, they were all good memories. Memories are my home. 

I found solace in creating memories that would mark time periods of my life that I felt at home. Home is not a physical place for me but I get these questions a lot by well meaning family and friends. 

"Where do you want to settle down?"

"You need to find a permanent place to settle down."

"Just pick a place and settle down." 

"Where do you see yourself permanently?"

"Are you going to keep traveling?"

"You can't keep on traveling. You need to set down roots" 

These are all valid concerns and questions by all the people that have said them to me. To be honest, I can't answer the questions. I feel very conflicted because in my heart I have places and countries I would love to live in for a long period of time and settle for a while BUT then its a challenge to live there due to logistical, political, and visas. Believe me, I have tried to apply for jobs and live in my chosen places. I have struggled for so many years. 

My passport pulls me back in many respects and I have not been able to accept it. It has to do with something greater than just me. It becomes a power struggle of politics, privilege, and current affairs. 

But all I know is this. People and places that make me feel welcome feel like home. Sometimes there's a gut feeling that you just feel so comfortable there. Its like falling in love. I remember when I fell in love with a city. I made it my home for as long as I could until I had to leave. It broke my heart. 

Home is a feeling. A memory. And a comfort. 

I don't know where I'll be but I will know when I am home. 

It will be a place of comfort, love, support, and warmth to me. 

TCK Identity: I have never been a local anywhere

A house boat in Rotterdam - I sometimes wish I could live on a boat and just choose where to live depending on the seasons! (This will probably not happen as I can get terribly seasick if the water is too choppy!)

I have lived in a number of places, traveled and revisited places where I know the streets, BUT I have never been a local anywhere. As a adult third culture kid and avid travel blogger (Check out my travel blog! www.travelwithalaine.com), I often come across posts with titles that have "... from the eyes of a local", "Explore ..... by a local", "A local guide's to ....", or something of similar titles. I wish I could tell you how much I would love to write "...from a local's perspective" but I can't because it would seem like a fraud. I can tell you about my experiences from that place. Especially if its a place I've lived in and discovered as a local resident.

Experiencing a place as a traveler is so different that living in a place as a resident. Your needs are different. There's an adjustment period that can be challenging. From feelings of frustration, anger, sadness, loneliness, fear, to elated happy feelings, satisfaction, acceptance, and peace. Its a whole gamut of experiences.

As far as "local guides" go, I will probably never write one because it would feel a bit disingenuous to my readers. When I do meet people who have lived their whole lives in that place, I ask them for their recommendations and tips because that is the best way to discover a place whether you've moved there or traveling there.

Wandering the streets of Delft

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Third Culture Kid Spotlight: Miyon

1. What is your name?

Miyon

2. Where were you born?

South Korea

3. What is your heritage?

Korean

4. Where have you lived and how long at each place?

Not in a chronological order due to travels between countries:

Korea - 6 years

Japan - 6 years

Hong Kong - 2.5 years

New Zealand 0.5 years

U.S.A. - 8 years

5. What is your definition of "home" and how is it different from those around you?

Home is where I feel most comfortable. it is a place where I can meet my friends in the local area. It doesn't have to be a home from childhood, but it is the good memories that make me nostalgic and I call them homes.

6. Where do you consider "home" and why?

I consider my currrent home to be where I am now and where my friends currently live. Wherever I go, it is my being that carry with me. It is the relationships with others that tie me to the common experience associated with them.

7. Do you have interests in the following: foreign languages, international relations, travelling, international politics, different cultures of the world, etc... Yes/No

If so, do you think your background has helped you develop these interests?

Definitely. I am majored in international studies and I speak 3 languages fluently and took foreign language courses in 3 languages during college years. I studied abroad and traveled on my own, and am usually the first one to welcome new people (both international and domestic) that I meet on campus.

8. What are your thoughts on globalization? Current political situation?

Globalization is not something new. It's been there for thousands of years, if not longer. but I see that third culture kids are increasing in number and that will change the political dynamic as it already has including the Obama administration team.

9. How are your thoughts on world affairs different from those around you?

That world affairs is related to borders and how we define borders is tied to the political economy.

10. Do you plan on incorporating a large amount of travel with your career?

I will ultimately. I plan to work in the US and later in China, but I also would like to travel extensively in the future years that follow

11. Any last comments to future Third Culture Kids/Cross Culture Kids, any words of wisdom?

TCKs are unique but we are human just like everyone else. We all have a need for belonging and certainty. When we can embrace both the blessings and challenges from the place of grace, we can unleash the inner power to better serve the humanity. Be gracious to the process and don't forget to follow your passion. You are a gift to the world.

Thank You Miyon!!! If you would like to be a part of this series, please drop me an email at ahdancecompany@gmail.com

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Third Culture Kid Spotlight: Gabby

Gabby is a travel blogger and TCK, just like me. You can find her blog at Packs Light, an interesting girl who is passionate about travel, life, and making the world a better place.

1. What is your name?

Gabrielle, but you can call me Gabby! 

2. Where were you born?

San Diego, California, USA.

3. What is your heritage?

My father is 100% Jamaican.

My mother is 25% Italian, 25% Finnish, and 50% Cherokee-American mix.

4. Where have you lived and how long at each place?

California, USA - 1 year

Missouri, USA - 1 year

Virginia, USA - 5 years

Okinawa, Japan - 3 years

Virginia - 12 years

Dubai, UAE - 1 year

Virginia - currently

5. What is your definition of "home" and how is it different from those around you?

Home is not yet a concept to me. Home is whatever space I'm in at the time where I'm comfortable, and can hang my clothes up in a closet.

Other people may consider home where you've lived the longest or even where the majority of their family is, but that's just not how it is for me. I think I'll consider home where I start my career or find my significant other.

6. Do you have interests in the following: foreign languages, international relations, travelling, international politics, different cultures of the world, etc...  Yes/No If so, do you think your background has helped you develop these interests?

Yes I do! I actually have won multiple study abroad scholarships, and my year in Dubai was spent studying Middle Eastern studies and Arabic. I'm finishing up my degree in Mathematics now, but hope to get a career in international relations or international business.

7. What are your thoughts on globalization? Current political situation?

Globalization in an inevitability of the world. The more interconnected the world becomes, between governments and cultures and business, the better it is for all of us. Of course I think it's important to remember ones culture and geniology and respect it, I think it's more important to be globally aware.

8. How are your thoughts on world affairs different from those around you?

As I said, I try to have a more global and culturally relative perspective. My favorite quotes are, "You can't hate someone when you know their story", and "History will repeat itself".

9. Do you plan on incorporating a large amount of travel with your career?

Inshallah!

Thanks for sharing your story Gabby! 

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Third Culture Kid Spotlight: Philip

I found some of my old research survey answers from 2004 when I began my TCK research journey that started as part of my Senior project dance production "Third Culture Kids" that was part presentation, half documentary film, half dance, and based on the books written about TCKs, expats, and these survey answers by TCKs around the world. I'm unearthing them because our complicated stories need to be heard. 

1. What is your name?
Philip 

2. Where were you born?
Brussels, Belgium

3. What is your heritage?
Mother is from the Netherlands (Amsterdam), with French grandparents
Father is 15th generation American, of Anglo Saxon (English/Scottish) descendants

4. Where have you lived & how long at each place?
Belgium 0-1 years old  (1 year)
London, England 1-8 years old (7 years)
Phoenix, Arizona, 8-15 years old (7 years)
Belgium again, 15-18 years old (3 years)
Chicago, 18 -  (4 years)

5. What is your definition of "home" and how is it different from those around you?
Home is wherever my family is "based' at a given time.  That means, wherever we have a house we can all get together at.... where my father is working.  It is not the town I've lived in my whole life, because I don't have one of those.  Sometimes I feel most "at home" in a town that's not necessarily where I'm living.

6. Where do you consider "home" and why?
I consider "home" to be Phoenix, Arizona.  I feel that it is where I spent my most formative years.  When I moved to Europe again in high-school, I had developed strong roots in Phoenix already and continue to go back to visit even today.  This is usually the answer I give on those short, "where are you from?" questions if I don't feel like telling the whole story.
My family is still "based" out of Belgium so the longer they stay there, the more I visit them there, the most that starts to feel like home too.

7. Do you have interests in the following: foreign languages, international relations, travelling, international politics, different cultures of the world, etc...  Yes/No If so, do you think your background has helped you develop these interests?
YES.  I love traveling, learning new languages and exploring different cultures.  Livnig in Europe made me really sensetive to international politics and the importance of learning languages to communicate.  So I think my surroundings definetly had an impact on my interests.

8. What are your thoughts on globalization? Current political situation?
I think globalization is very efficient, however, I find it kind of a sad thing.  The more the world becomes globalized, the more the beauty and individuality of different cultures will be lost.  As far as the current political situation goes, I think we've seen the worst.  I think the global climate has been pretty fearful and this is something that will turn around.

9. How are your thoughts on world affairs different from those around you?
I take much more of an international perspective, not always looking at everything on a domestic level.  I know how other countires feel and how other countries are affected.

10. Do you plan on incorporating a large amount of travel with your career?
I would like to, yes.

Olympics are filled with TCKs

Stock image taken from Pixabay

The Rio Olympics is underway and so many elite and inspiring athletes from around the world are competing at their highest level to be the best in the world. Its been a rising trend that so many of these athletes are globally mobile and travel to get the best training in the world. So many athletes as a result become Third Culture Kids (TCKs) and Expats as a result.

Sports has a long history of soft-core diplomacy for countries. The exchange of good sportsmanship between athletes, the inspiration these elite athletes give to budding athletes, the athletic rivalry in competition, and the pride in representing a whole nation.

Wait... Patriotism among TCKs can be a tricky thing.

As a spectator, TCKs are torn between multiple countries. Who do we root for?

I recently asked my mother this question and she responded by saying "I don't have a country to root for"

To which I replied "I root for the winning athletes and the countries they represent"

She responded "So we should have multiple country flags and wave the winning flags"

"YES!"

Its trickier for athletes. Some are third culture kids early on in their childhood and had their training all over the world. Some move because they need to get the highest training they can get to make it to the top of their chosen sport. Some move because they would have a better chance at representing a country at the Olympics.

With global mobility becoming easier, an elite athlete would be able to get the best training she/he needs to make their dreams come true. There are so many critics to this tactic as it may be seen as un-patriotic. But what is patriotism these days for the global nomad? Global nomadic athletes train hard to push themselves to realise their dreams for competing with the best for an Olympic gold.

We should support the athletes and their hard work, sacrifices, and for having the determination that many of us lack to push through many long hours of sore muscles, injuries, etc.

Cheer on for the athletes that moves from Singapore to the USA, from China to Germany, from Greece to Austria, from USA to Georgia, from USA to Sweden, etc.

Celebrate the diversity of cultures mixing and healthy sports competition.

Stock photo taken from Pixabay

The hardest thing about being a TCK

When your friends are scattered all over the world. Long distance friendships and relationships are hard. You're always missing a places and faces.

Life becomes complicated when you're always on the road traveling every couple months. The first question I get asked is "Where are you?" Its like the game of finding Waldo in the pictures. 

I have itchy feet. I feel stuck when I'm in one place for too long. Perhaps, I haven't been able to find that place where I can call home for a while. 

The thing is, I like the slow travel movement. Taking time to slowly take in the culture, sights, people (or lack thereof), scenery. I also like being in my own little space and being on my own whether typing up blog posts, researching articles, writing articles, dancing/choreographing, and cooking up all kinds of recipes. 

Social media is supposed to make it easier to connect people. An online world of connectivity. However, I find that people become a bit lazy to write each other. When I was a child, I had penpals in different countries and wrote letters to them every month. It was a joy to receive a letter in the mail and sometimes we even sent pictures and gifts. 

It took effort to buy a long distance phone card, write and send that letter, print pictures for sharing, etc. Now we have everything at our fingertips. As long as the internet connection is solid. I've been fascinated with how one can have a career online and work remotely from anywhere in the world. 

We as a society have become smaller yet more distant in human relationships. With all the distractions of the modern world and bombardment of online connectivity how does one maintain healthy connections with friends from around the world? 

Just something I've been thinking about lately as I'm working mostly online and connecting with my friends via social media.

P.s. I love getting letters and postcards so if you feel compelled to write to me send me an email! 

Favorite Travel Outfits

What constitutes as a favorite travel outfit? To me it is an outfit that is comfortable to walk around in all day, makes you feel confidant because you know you look cute, not too trendy because you want to be able to not feel like you're a walking anomaly. But comfort is of utmost importance when talking about shoes. I like to walk everywhere when I'm traveling so I don't want to be complaining about my feet when the blisters show up or getting sharp knee pains because the shock absorbancy of pavement is nonexistent.

Global citizenship as a TCK

Global citizenship is a buzzword that we are constantly throwing around these days as it has become paramount that today's citizen be aware of current events, politics, business, economic, and cultural awareness. So much of our society runs globally but this can and will cause quite a bit of misunderstandings as well.

On a personal level as a TCK, I still feel like there is so much to experience and see in the world. My biggest pet peeve with some TCKs is the "greater than thou" attitude just because they grew up globally. We never stop learning. Also one has to learn about other cultures and look from the outside in to analyze where the other is coming from.

I'm currently enrolled in a postgraduate program in an International Hospitality Management school and the experience has its ups and downs. Last weekend, we had a 'Cultural Night' event that showcased the numerous amount of cultures that embody the student population here. I grew up with United Nations days and International Food fairs from all the International schools, even when I was guest teaching for International schools and even the immigrant heavy populations in the public schools have this celebration in their school curriculum. It is wonderful. My dance students performed at the performance and I'm so proud of them.

I chuckle whenever someone asks what country I was representing. I was representing myself, so I replied "Alaine world". hehehe.... Because I am a global citizen and each global citizen is unique. A melting pot of different cultures. A proud Adult Third Culture Kid.


(The following video is about an hour long, if you want to watch my students fast forward to about 53 minutes)

Looking back.... Neither Here Nor There film

Throwback to when Director and Documentary Filmmaker, Ema Ryan Yamazaki interviewed me and 5 other New York City based third culture kids (at that time) for her documentary thesis film at NYU film school.

Neither Here Nor There film is now available for $1.99 (USD) for internet streaming through Amazon.

"Neither Here Nor There" is a 35 minute documentary that explores cultural identity for people who have grown up in places other than their home culture, known as Third Culture Kids. Through the stories of six subjects, the film investigates the often overlooked effects on adults who had international upbringings, their struggles to fit in and an eternal search to belong.

I have a funny relationship with seeing images and videos of myself from times past. Part vanity, part reminders, part memory, but most of all it captures a moment and time from my life. A documentation. I am grateful that we have the technology to take instant pictures and loads of videos to capture precious moments in our lives. Often times I forget to take pictures and going to vow to try and take a picture to remember the places, people, events, and who I was and am today. Its always interesting to make comparisons with our past lives. How much have we grown? How different have we become? Who are you in the past? Who are you in the present? Because we cannot predict the future, we only have our past to learn from and our present to experience.


 

My interview with Paulette Bethel for Lost in Translation series

I recently was interviewed by Paulette Bethel about being a TCK & Chameleon. Here's the recording of the live telecast: http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=48995067

The audio interview is about an hour long.

Paulette's Lost in Translation series is amazing, she's interviewed so many guest experts in the Third Culture Kid, Expat, Relocation world. Ruth Van Reken, Tina Quick, Kilian Kröll, Myra Dumapias, Rahul Gandotra, Jo Parfitt, Eva Lazlo-Herbert, and more! It was such an honor to be asked to be interviewed for this series. Reminded me how much of an impact I've made already among the TCKs, Expats, Cross-Cultural coaches and experts, Educators, etc. with the work I've done so far with the Chameleon project and even the TCKs I meet around the world. Its quite humbling and a reminder that I still have a lot of work left to do using dance/movement to tell the stories, memories, and experiences of TCKs.

The Thread magazine: Alaine Handa: An ATCK Story

The Thread, Alaine Handa: An ATCK Story  
Alaine Handa is decrypting what it means to be an adult third culture kid (ATCK) through the medium that defines her best – dance.

TCK Problems: 10 reasons why being part of the majority is uncomfortable

I don't know about you but I've briefly touched about this topic before in my previous posts this past year. I've kept it to myself for the most part but I can't hold it in any longer because I know that there are TCKs who know this exact feeling.

I am uncomfortable being part of a majority group of people.

1) I don't like being stereotyped into a majority lump.

2) I don't really fit "in" the majority.

3) I like feeling unique and standing out.

4) Assuming I know certain languages, rules, customs, local pop culture, local vernacular.

5) Being lectured to.

6) Made a MOCKERY of when I break their preconceived notions.

7) Being put down. No, I don't take negative criticism well. I usually shut it out - but if its being shoved down everyday ALL THE TIME, I'll resent you.

8) On a good day, I'll mess with your head and try to confuse you because of reasons 1-7. Its entertainment to me. :-)

9) I'll ignore you if you insist on assuming I know what you're talking about. And I'll do it VERY DELIBERATELY.

10) Not having to explain everything 3-4 times while you stare blankly at me resulting in me getting extremely frustrated at you.


There you have it. My very obnoxious list of reasons.
I apologize for the rant but I can't hold it in any longer. #tckproblems

This is also mostly, I like discovering the unknown. 

Saying goodbyes

I want to begin this post by pasting and email that my student sent to me before the end of the school year:

Throughout this year of dance, I have learned so many things from you. You have taught me and many others different types of dances and how to choreograph them. Since you have been teaching us, you have been inspiring us to dance one person at a time. All in all, I think that you have been an outstanding teacher, that has taught us a lot about dance.

This email was so touching and it makes it so worthwhile as a dance educator to learn that I've inspired students to love dance and movement as much as I do. I had a blast teaching over a hundred students every day from my alma mater school here in Singapore. Every year that I've been teaching dance, I miss my students when the end of the term, residency, year is over and we're enjoying a bit of time off for the summer. But over the years, I've grown a bit more hardened to saying goodbye to my students and try not to get so attached. I've grown used to saying goodbye.

Goodbyes aren't easy, but I've become accustomed to saying them. I don't know if its just age, because I remember goodbyes being extremely difficult growing up.

As an Adult TCK, are we hardened to saying goodbye to everyone we encounter in this lifetime?

I actually psych myself out by not really saying goodbye but saying "see you soon!" because thats easier to say. The world is a small place, I always run into people from my past. Its so common for TCKs!

A friend from high school passed away last week. I feel quite a bit of remorse for never been able to get a hold of her the first few months I moved back and then just gave up trying to contact her. Gone too soon. Though we drifted apart over the years, I still have fond memories of running track with her, dance rehearsals, theater, and a few other random memories that have popped up this week from high school. Rest in peace Leslie, you are loved by many. I'm glad I got to see you a few years ago when I came to visit Singapore and you showed us around Clarke Quay.

The last day of school at SAS was a couple days ago. The students were crying and hugging each other to say their goodbyes. Some were leaving so they were distraught. My advice to them: Goodbyes are hard. They don't get easy. But as we get older, we get used to saying them.
What's worse than goodbyes? Never having the time to say goodbye or rushing through them. ALWAYS MAKE TIME.

On the subject of teaching (TCKs mostly)

I've been teaching dance full time since the last time I posted. I've been subbing for an injured dance teacher at SAS so I've been busy juggling teaching during the day at SAS and my various teaching gigs around town. I have never taught this many dance classes in a given week in my entire life. My physical body is drained by the end of the day and all I want to do is pass out at the end of the day. Everyday I wake up while its still dark outside and get things ready for the big day ahead of me. As soon as the bell rings, I pack up my things and go to my second job. As tiring as it is, the kids I teach are wonderful. I've been having a tough time as of late and those closest to me know what I'm going through - some day maybe when the time is right, I will post a little insight post on that. Back to the TCKs I teach, they really know how to put a smile on my face with their funny antics. Especially when I'm having one of those days where nothing feels right and I'm feeling down, these kids somehow remind me how fun life can be.

My Tap students performing "The Lion King" Photo Credit: Tracy Webb

An unconventional start of my teaching career. Teaching as a profession has never been a goal of mine, it chose me instead of the other way around, needless to say - I do enjoy teaching and love to share my passion for dance to others. I started my teaching career at SAS when I was a mere high school student. I was a summer program assistant teacher, a teacher apprentice (twice) at SAS. Right after high school graduation, I taught at my dance studio before I left to go to college in SoCal. I would give private lessons to my non-dancer friends in college as well as volunteered as my community service component for a Developmental Psychology class to be an assistant figure skating coach to the group childrens classes. Right before my college graduation at UCLA, I got hired part-time to teach at a charter high school once a week to set up their dance program. That summer, I continued to coach those students and then I left for New York at the end of the summer. I started dancing with a collective a few months after arriving that led to an employment with Young Dancers in Repertory. A Brooklyn based organization that brings dance teaching artists to public schools and summer programming. I taught for this organization for 6 years at a myriad of different public schools in Brooklyn, after school programming, multicultural events, community programming, summer in the parks programming, and their center for dance studies. The commutes were long on the subway (I read A LOT of books & magazines!) but when I saw the students perform or show me what they learned in my classes and sometimes apply to other classes or teach their teachers what they learned - it gives me great joy. Because teaching dance to a wide variety of students becomes so much more than the technique, you also teach life lessons. I've also taught students that are much older than me and taught workshops for senior citizens at a community center. You know its funny because my performing artist career has given me multiple opportunities to teach at a variety of different places. Now I'm back in Singapore and I'm teaching for an awesome arts school, started adult open-level dance classes, and my old "home" at SAS.

I guess the old adage of "when it rains, it pours" applies to life here. Creatively, I am working on a project titled Habitat and I'll be taking it to Edinburgh Fringe festival this summer and meeting my dancer from NYC in Europe! (Talk about long distance rehearsals!)

Life appears to be all fine and dandy on the outside but I know I'm still feeling rather down despite all the changes and developments. A lot of it has to do with TCK issues I'm grappling with and the ugly side of being a TCK. *sigh*

Its almost a new year

Last few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. November came and went. I'm a year older. I got accepted to present an excerpt of Chameleon at the T.H.E. Contact 2012 festival. I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my mother, sister, cousin, and aunt. My boyfriend came to visit me from Connecticut. We went to Bali for my birthday week. I had birthday drinks with a few friends when we returned. My boyfriend went back to Connecticut. :-( But my "sister" friend is in town and we are traveling to Malacca and Chiang Mai as well as taking her all over town. After that I jet off with my real sister and Aussie cousin to Hong Kong for a few days. Very excited to be traveling because I need to get out of town.

I just want to wish everyone Happy Holidays & Happy New Year!

Here's a video from me and my sister's Christmas greeting video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfb2-7rsuzU

Skål for 2013!

Feeling very Western

A banana. The term that is "white" on the inside and "yellow" on the outside. I have a problem with this term but that is for another blog post..

I am very aware of this more so in Asia than I did in North America or even when traveling to Australia. I've always felt this way since I was a little girl. Perhaps its my International American School upbringing. Or maybe its the fact that my parents let me become whoever I wanted to be (I half heartedly joke that I was raised in a non-typical Asian household). Or the fact that most of my friends are a crazy mixed bunch and I don't understand being Asian.

Its especially frustrating living in Asia because ethnically I am Asian. I get talked to in Mandarin ALL the time and I get frustrated most of the time because I'll answer in American English but they will sometimes insist on replying me in Mandarin. I feel like saying "No, I don't speak Chinese" and sometimes I do and shake my head vigorously. Then they get offended. I can't win. I sometimes meet Caucasian folks and they are equally confused at first but then later on feel at ease. Its just the first couple minutes of introductions that are awkward at best.

Sometimes this straddling of between worlds works as a positive. Other times its just all too confusing and often misunderstood. 

Performing my solo from Chameleon at DanceBox in KL. Sept. 2012.


Photo Credit: Huneid Tyeb

Chameleon interviews - Heather

In my previous post I mentioned that I've been working with TCKs/CCKs at SAS for the re-setting of Chameleon.
I've been conducting interviews to accompany the solos as the soundtrack. Like in previous solos in Chameleon, the performer is talking about their cross cultural experiences. Most of the time, I can choose what I want for the sound based on the interview. However, this re-setting and editing of the soundtrack is proving to be a challenge for me because I want to use EVERYTHING! Its rather challenging to edit it down to a 2 min. sound byte from a 30 min. interview. Heather in particular has a lot of interesting and relevant things to say and I've gotten the permission to share with you her interview. (Don't worry, I've edited it down to a 17 minute podcast format)

Currently Reading: The Art of Coming Home by Craig Storti

I'm currently reading The Art of Coming Home written by Craig Storti for obvious reasons.

To quote the book on Stages of Reentry because it seems very relevant:

1. Leave-taking and departure
2. The Honeymoon
3. Reverse Culture Shock
4. Readjustment


According to this... I'm in Stage 3.

TCKs are like family

TCK Meetup during the Annual Dumpling Festival 2011

I've been co-event organizer for the New York City Third Culture Kids Meetup group for a couple years now and loving how I've forged really good friendships through the group especially the other organizers (Hi Aradhana & Eddie!).

I haven't written much about the group because I've been busy organizing events and coming up with ideas for the next meetups as they have been varied from formal discussions to picnic in Central Park (we just had our 2nd annual picnic!) to also promoting Chameleon to TCKs and booking performance gigs for A.H. Dance Company to perform Chameleon in different cities (and my other jobs as well!)... time seems to be limited.

I'm a member of several organizations and meetup groups but the one that has seemed to make it onto my social calendar is a TCK meetup. The biggest reason is that I really like meeting TCKs and connecting with them on the level that my non-TCK friends (I have plenty of non-TCK friends) seem to overlook or just don't understand.

TCK Picnic in Central Park 2011

TCK Picnic in Central Park 2012; Photo Credit: Aradhana Hinds

These meetups are super fun and sometimes we have a HUGE turnout and other times, its not as big. Most important of all, we create a warm environment to include TCKs and non-TCKs alike.

TCK Picnic in Central Park 2012; Photo Credit: Eddie Nwabuoku

I meet a lot of TCKs and especially the past few years since performing and touring Chameleon to different cities. I always try to meet up with the local based TCKs. I think its because I need to find my grounding and get the inside scoop on what the city has to offer from the TCK standpoint of view. I'm friends with a lot of TCK/Expat folks in the research world and the online communities so its always nice to put a face to the online persona. In TCK terminology, I'm what you would call a "screamer" but I didn't use to be this way.

We are setting up a TCK Summer book club and our first book is Ruth Van Reken's "Letters Never Sent". I am reminded by her letters the private journals I kept chronicling my very frustration for not "fitting in" or that "no one understood me" and that I would always be alone, etc. It came from a deep dark place of depression and anxiety that left me extremely troubled. Finding out that there are others similar to me, I sought out to find TCKs through Livejournal (before all the social media we use today) and through my universities' online message boards to find local TCKs. I then used my artistic creative talents to make a production based on my story and other TCKs stories using dance and film as my senior project. Years after that, TCKid, Facebook, Denizen, highly visible famous TCKs, and more publications on TCKs surfaced and I went back to the ideas, literature, and production elements to create Chameleon.

It has been a cathartic process for me. I'm also helping a lot of TCKs through the project and making lots of TCK friends. I am very grateful for all of those who I've met through Chameleon and through the Meetup group. My family is many thousands of miles away and to have a TCK family here is just priceless.

- Alaine