Monday, March 28, 2016

Why I grieve for places I've lived in.

I left suddenly due to complications with visa (always my TCK conundrum) and it hasn't been easy dealing with it.

Tragedy struck Brussels.

For many days, I went through the gamut of emotions from feeling really lucky to sadness to anger to guilt.

Yes, Guilt. I feel guilty for having narrowly missed this kind of terrible acts of terror.

Then I started to feel helpless and isolated. As the city of Brussels is coming back together and breathing a new and beautiful community, I wanted to do something to help.

As I watch the security alerts and emails flow through from work. I wanted to do something. I needed to do something. The only thing that I can do is remain in contact with my coworkers in the office and continue working with the mantra "business as usual" and post images that give others inspiration.

I complained about my life in Brussels but it was all due to not adjusting to living there. I feel guilty for all of it. I started to adjust to life and had to leave when it became a new normal. We all go through periods of adjustment as a expat when moving to some place new.

Jakarta. There were explosions in January in the centre of the city near an area where there was the first McDonald's that opened in 1990 and I spent after school hanging out there with my childhood best friend eating happy meals then going to her house to play until I got picked up to go home for dinner. I was shocked at the explosion. Though I was so young when I lived there, the memories of that area really came flooding back. I grieved.

When hurricane Sandy hit New York in 2012, just a month after I left. I felt the same emotions of feeling helpless. I made a dance. I donated money to the red cross.

An ode to NYC danced by my lovely students. I grieved for leaving, I grieved for New York. I spent most of my adult life starting out in NYC and have so many stories and memories that I felt I needed to do something.

As a mobile Adult Third Culture Kid, I am very tired of hearing about acts of terror around the world, Mother Nature will do what she wants so I forgive her. But I hope to never have to 'mark myself safe' on Facebook ever again due to an attack.

Peace to the world.
Make love.

1 comment:

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