Digital Nomadism for this TCK

A vicious cycle for a TCK: Packing up, Unpacking, Moving, Transporting, Goodbyes and Hellos

My tiny hands are worn from carrying multiple bags

My arms are filled with big bruises

I beat myself up with my luggage

My heavy load. 

Head heavy, eyes tired. 

Thinking: "I hate this moving business"

Like a drunken haze, we have all said "Never again"

Do not believe it. 

The stares from other travellers at the train, bus, plane

I'm embarrassed and flushed. 

Sweat beads form and my clothes are starting to stick to me. 

Why, oh, why me!? 

Moving again. 

Saying good bye to beautiful places. 

See you soon to my dear friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.

Hello again to another location.

My unsightly bruises on both arms. June 2016.

I've been a digital nomad for the past few months and my body is weary but I am also a typical restless TCK who just can't seem to find home or stay put. A few things, I've learned from being a digital nomad and working from "home" is that 1) I like being able to be mobile. 2) I can live a peaceful existence and work efficiently on my own. 3) When I need to see people, I need to make an effort to see them. 

Working remotely from the Swiss Alps. May 2016.

I question myself every single day: how did I get here? The past several years has been such a challenging and trying time for me. A career change is difficult. Combined with a changing world and never being satisfied with where I am.

The world is changing and becoming incredibly volatile. I'm uneasy about it all because it is affecting me on a personal level. I have such an awful time when it comes to applying for visas and whatnot. Sigh. This is not a post for my rant. I am sure there are TCKs out there that can empathise with me on this. Feel free to drop me an email or a Facebook message if you'd like to commiserate.

Atomium, Brussels, Belgium. June 2015

Digital Nomadism. 
Its a thing and so many more companies should embrace this. If there is anything I've learned from my internship is that THIS is possible. I wish more companies would embrace this concept. For starters, I'm currently "funemployed" so decided to embrace this concept of digital nomadism and expand my network reach around the world through my social media channels. Its a dream of mine to be able to work anywhere and inspire others to embrace travel and adventure.
Can one truly work remotely and live a comfortable life? The answer is YES. Its been done and there are so many successful people doing it. I aspire to be able to do this so I'm not a prisoner of location and limited in my career and life aspirations. I just need to find the strength to shut everyone who tells me that its impossible, that I can't do it, that I'm too old, that I'm wasting my time, that I'm running out of time, and to settle down to a mediocre life that everyone else has that I don't want so I can be miserable. I don't want to be miserable.
There is really nothing tying me down and I'm not in the rat race so why not embrace a life that is colorful.
Another thing I learned in 2016 is that I cannot plan my life beyond a few months at a time because something is always going wrong and sh** hits the proverbial fan. Too many things have happened this year in the micro and macro scale that have affected and impacted me on such a personal level that all I can say is c'est la vie.

The life is short, death is inevitable, seize the day.
Malmö Slott, Malmö, Sweden. Feb. 2016

I am a Nomad

Wandering planet earth

Stopping for shelter, food, drink, company, and stories.

Neither here nor there.

Homeless.

Belonging everywhere and nowhere.

Learning languages

Studying cultures

Observing people

And making friends wherever I go.

Missing friends around the world.

I want to be there, there, and there.

I want to go somewhere far 

Finding little rocks I can settle down on for a while.

Settling my weary body, mind, and spirit. 

Blending in

Not blending in. 

Repeating my story. 

No, I don't want to give you my life story but you asked

"Where are you from?"

Are you actually interested?

Or is that a form of small talk and you don't really care.

Or you could also be a wanderer too.

Lets talk.

Lets be friends.

Keep in touch, k? 

Always flying

This bird flies to places unknown
Every flight builds excitement
The return: a sense of dread.
She spreads her wings to faraway places
Its her meditation.
Her freedom from the monotony and greed of daily life.
New smells, food, friends, experiences.
This bird doesn't have a nest.
She finds comfort wherever she goes.
She feels incredible sense of calm wandering.
Not lost.
Her love is to share what she knows with others
This bird is different
She doesn't care what the flock tells her she should be
She longs for the simplicity of her life to just be herself
Complete and whole.
To live a life full of love, laughter, passion, adventure, comfort.

En route on the train to Edinburgh, July 2013

Planning for summer adventures in Milan, Spain, Lisbon, and Sweden! Travel is my inspiration to life and this trip will be filled with lots of love, laughter, passion, comfort, and wonderful memories. Memories create home for me and to create good memories is sacred ground. Hope all of you have a good summer!!! 

Free write & choreographed improv...

I was at a dance educators seminar held by the City Center here in NY a couple weekends ago and the theme was Nijinksky's Afternoon of a Faun since it is the centennial anniversary of the piece. We had workshops with Mark Dendy and another lady who teaches the repertory of the original Nijinsky ballet. In the afternoon, the City Center hosts came up with exercises to unleash our own personal adaptions and inspirations from the ballet. We had to listen to the music, read the poem, and free writes. I wanted to share my free writes because I ended up writing about birds in flight and travel.

"These flocking swans, these naiads, rather, fly or dive." - Mallarme (Read the whole poem here)

The vast lake of flocking birds fly high into the sky of the blue abyss. Like a giant white cloud they soar through the skies in search of a better place because the winds are changing and the weather is getting cooler. The colder months brings sorrow for those not travelling. Flying to a climate more favorable.

Free write about a time that was a moment of awareness or monumental for you:

Unsettled and constantly pining for memories, I lie awake at night longing for my memories of a home that no longer exists. Friendships I have gained and lost. Returning to an already familiar pattern of constant change. I gather. I seek. I travel. Meeting. Saying good-bye. The cycle of impermanence continues.

Alaine in the Studio from Alaine Handa on Vimeo.