A banana. The term that is "white" on the inside and "yellow" on the outside. I have a problem with this term but that is for another blog post..
I am very aware of this more so in Asia than I did in North America or even when traveling to Australia. I've always felt this way since I was a little girl. Perhaps its my International American School upbringing. Or maybe its the fact that my parents let me become whoever I wanted to be (I half heartedly joke that I was raised in a non-typical Asian household). Or the fact that most of my friends are a crazy mixed bunch and I don't understand being Asian.
Its especially frustrating living in Asia because ethnically I am Asian. I get talked to in Mandarin ALL the time and I get frustrated most of the time because I'll answer in American English but they will sometimes insist on replying me in Mandarin. I feel like saying "No, I don't speak Chinese" and sometimes I do and shake my head vigorously. Then they get offended. I can't win. I sometimes meet Caucasian folks and they are equally confused at first but then later on feel at ease. Its just the first couple minutes of introductions that are awkward at best.
Sometimes this straddling of between worlds works as a positive. Other times its just all too confusing and often misunderstood.
Performing my solo from Chameleon at DanceBox in KL. Sept. 2012.
Photo Credit: Huneid Tyeb