Monday, March 3, 2014

Why you should absolutely date a woman who travels

I've been wanting to write this blog post for a while and will write another one about dating a TCK soon...

There was a blog post that has been making its rounds that is titled "Don't date a girl who travels" written by Adi Zarsadias. I shared this post on my facebook wall and it created a little bit of a anxiety among my fellow single women travelers. I can see why it would cause some panic. I think the author of this post has cleverly scripted some reverse psychology. 

Lets dissect the blog post and analyze it here.

Don't date a girl who travels. She is hard to please. The usual dinner-movie date at the mall will suck the life out of her. Her soul craves for new experiences and adventures. She will be unimpressed with your new car and your expensive watch. She would rather climb a rock or jump out of an airplane than hear you brag about it.
There is a bit of truth to this. The likeliness of a girl who would rather go spend her money on travel will not be impressed by materialist items that are flashy for the sake of being flashy. I think if an item has a story behind it, then she would be interested in hearing about it. I like to purchase fun souvenirs that aren't exactly stereotypical as a souvenir when I travel. For a long time, I had an extensive shot glass collection but had to stop purchasing them b/c I never got the chance or had the space to display them proudly after several major moves (I lost count!).
I've always like purchasing a piece of clothing or accessories while traveling and lately have been into purchasing fun pieces of jewelry. On any given day, I could be wearing an outfit that is entirely purchased from different parts of the world without even thinking too much of it. Earrings from Scotland, bracelets from New York, Hong Kong, Singapore, and Amsterdam, dress from Canada... This is super normal for me.

Souvenir clogs in Amsterdam. Cute stereotypical souvenirs right? I couldn't picture anyone actually wearing these out.

So Date a woman who travels because she will regale you with tidbit stories of her material possessions collected from different parts of the world. I hope you will share your stories too. The traveling woman will appreciate that you took time to tell her a story about your life.

Don't date a girl who travels because she will bug you to book a flight every time there's an airline seat sale.
The woman who travels will encourage you to plan and purchase tickets for trips because she wants you to join her. Take it as a compliment that she likes you enough to invite you along. But whether you accept the invitation or not, she may just go and book her trip without you if you wait too long to reply. This woman knows what she wants, and she wants to travel. Date a woman who travels  because she is an independent woman who will have fun on her trips with or without you.

Chances are, she can't hold a steady job. Or she's probably daydreaming about quitting. She doesn't want to keep working her ass off for someone else's dream. She has her own and is working towards it. She is a freelancer. She makes money from designing, writing, photography or something that requires creativity and imagination. Don't waste her time complaining about your boring job.
Ok... This one hits a bit close to home. I choose to be a freelancer because it keeps my life interesting instead of mundane and I've got many talents, strengths, and interests that I like to explore all at once. Perhaps its just my ADD talking or scared of bricks and mortar commitment. All I can argue with this is... Date the woman who travels because she is flexible. Her career is mobile, so if your career takes you elsewhere in the world she would be ready to move with you (if she thinks you're worth it!)

Don't date a girl who travels. She might have wasted her college degree and switched careers entirely. She is now a dive instructor or a yoga teacher. She's not sure when the next paycheck is coming. But she doesn't work like a robot all day, she goes out and takes what life has to offer and challenges you to do the same.
I don't really see this as a negative or special. There are lots of people who switch careers in their lifetime and do something entirely different than what their college degree. Why would anyone want to date someone who works "like a robot all day" - I have met interesting folks who work at so-called "boring" jobs but they are interesting because they have other aspects of their life that gives them passion. The reason why they have a "work, life balance".
This statement hits a bit on a personal level for me as I have an "interesting" career (according to people I meet at happy hours, networking events, bars, parties, etc.). There are similar responses from people I just met a) "Wow. You have such an interesting life!" b) "I am so jealous you get to pursue your passion" c) "Do you make enough money doing that!?" d) "What kind of dance do you do? (I'd answer) "What's that?" and there are combination of all the above. This amuses me endlessly. :-)
Date the woman who travels because she craves an interesting life.

Don't date a girl who travels for she has chosen a life of uncertainty. She doesn't have a plan or a permanent address. She goes with the flow and follows her heart. She dances to the beat of her own drum. She doesn't wear a watch. Her days are ruled by the sun and the moon. When the waves are calling, life stops and she will be oblivious to everything else for a moment. But she has learned that the most important thing in life isn't surfing.
We can plan our lives out as much as we can but the girl who travels a lot has realized that we can drive ourselves into a panicked frenzy if we are so adamant to sticking to the plan without room for flexibility and spontaneity. I absolutely believe that we should make plans for the future but also leave lots of room for "going with the flow". Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls and we just have to roll with it because its too short and time is precious to dwell on what went "wrong" in our plans. This is easier said than done of course. Its human nature to worry about the future. Thats because we're scared of the unknown. My favorite thing to do when I travel is to just go with the flow and plan for one major activity must-have for that day but then just get lost in the exploration of a new place.
Absolutely date the woman who can just be spontaneous and know that life is the journey. A woman who travels often understands this.

Don't date a girl who travels as she tends to speak her mind. She will never try to impress your parents or friends. She knows respect, but isn't afraid to hold a debate about global issues or social responsibility.

This woman sounds awesome! There is nothing wrong with being able to speak up. The woman that can do this knows what she wants and isn't afraid to voice her opinions. Debates about global issues or social responsibility or philosophy or policies are excellent and makes for a good evening in my opinion. Why would anyone want to date a wallflower unless that person just wants someone to sit there and look pretty. I wouldn't want to date a man who was a wallflower and wouldn't want to be someone's wallflower either. That would make for boring evenings.
Date the woman who travels because she can hold a good conversation.  She will automatically impress your parents and friends. 

She will never need you. She knows how to pitch a tent and screw her own fins without your help. She cooks well and doesn't need you to pay for her meals. She is too independent and wont care whether you travel with her or not. She will forget to check in with you when she arrives at her destination. She's busy living in the present. She talks to strangers. She will meet many interesting, like-minded people from around the world who share her passion and dreams. She will be bored with you.
Neediness is not sexy. The woman who travels wants a companion and partner not because she needs one but because she truly likes you around. If you don't mind dating "a bird", you will be her nest and sometimes travel partner then absolutely date that woman! She won't be bored with you because though she may like floating around, she needs a nest to rest her tired legs and someone to listen and share stories with.

My favorite quote from the post is this ending line.  "So never date a girl who travels unless you can keep up with her. And if you unintentionally fall in love with one, don't you dare keep her. Let her go."

By letting the bird be "free" to come and go, she will always come back to you.
Absolutely date a woman who travels because she will be the most awesome woman you'll ever meet. 


  1. Lurv this blog post! I'm a TCK woman who travels whether discovering a new country, or just travelling to self-discovery. I would feel bad if no one wanted to date me because I saw life from a different perspective! Most of us TCKs are entrepreneurs anyway, so our businesses would travel wherever we go.

    1. Thanks for reading!
      Some folks may see the TCK as a person that cannot settle down. TCKs do settle down in their own way and in the societal construct of traditional ways - I have observed it among my own TCK friends. Its not impossible.